I have fallen in and out of love with running for over four years now. Here’s the thing: running isn’t enjoyable when you first start, but the more I do it – especially combined with some strength training and yoga – the more I love it.
But over those four years, I have pressured myself when it comes to fitness. I constantly had a voice in my head saying ”sure you ran 8km today, but someone else ran 16km at a much faster pace. So you need to work on that.”
And that little voice, that inner critic, is what made me quit all these times. I’m a pretty competitive type A person, and without noticing I was constantly competing. With myself more so than with others. And although that is a great source of motivation, getting myself down because I wasn’t where I wanted to be fitness wise is not healthy. Not if it actually makes me feel worse about myself.
But I’m done with that critic, it does not fit with my 2018 resolution of being kind to myself.
I have been getting back into my running routine for the past few weeks or so. And I’m trying really, really hard to just work through it and have patience, without feeling like I’m never doing enough. I want to be better, sure. I want to improve my PR’s and run races again. I still have the dream of running a full marathon someday, something I haven’t been able to get out of my head in the past few years.
So here’s to actually running on a regular basis. Trusting the process. Being okay with where I am. Being kind to myself.